Tag Archives: Thoughts

Time to Embrace Love

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Normally Valentine’s Day is about giving to those you love. But as I think upon those things I can’t stop thinking about how much I’m blessed. Especially through my fiance. God has given me her and with her, so many wonderful things. So this Valentine’s Day I’m going to receive with open arms. -Vince

Vince is engaged to marry Kate in June. He is one of the sweetest men I know: always buying Kate little gifts, writing her notes, and generally being kind to everyone. Above was his status update for February 13. When I read it, I was struck. Not many men would think of such a thing, much less write it down.

His words inspired me to embrace the things I love. Chocolate and flowers are wonderful, don’t get me wrong. But wouldn’t you rather spend hours with the one you love than get those things? Wouldn’t you rather someone hold you close and say, “I am so thankful I have you” than get handed a Hallmark card and stuffed animal? I know I sure would. That’s how I would choose to give love. But how would you? Maybe you would prefer chocolate (or both 🙂 ). You see, when it comes down to it, it’s not how or what we give to people but how we receive from people that matters. Receiving someone else’s love unselfishly, gratefully is so so important. Why? Because people show love in different ways. What means the most to me isn’t what means the most to other people. Someone could be showing me what he/she considers the highest form of love, and I could completely miss it.

Fnd out how the people you love show love and respond to that love. Acknowledge with praise and thankfulness the love they have shown even if that act wasn’t amazing to you. Because someone just opened their heart to you. Someone wanted to show you how much they care. Show them you noticed and go along with whatever they planned even if it doesn’t sound exciting to you. Because that’s what love is all about. It’s about the other person.

So let this Valentine’s Day mark when you receive the love you have been given with open arms and try not to let it go.

That Emotional Trick Called “Retreats”

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photo-5Retreats. Yup, they are complete manipulation. You stay up late, get dehydrated, run around, hug strangers, listen to powerful music and driving talks, and the last day you cry, “change your life”, go home and forget everything you so miraculously learned over the week/weekend. Such was, and to a point still is, my view of retreats.

So, why am I talking about retreats? Well, because I just came back from one. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to go at all. I didn’t want to get sucked into the trick that was so carefully planned by youth leaders. I didn’t want a spiritual high because at some point I knew I would fall and so would every other hormonal teen.

What was the point?

The first night I was determined to have a good time because I was there, but I told myself I would not be emotionally moved. There was the overly enthusiastic group of 400 teens screaming and cheering for… what reason? God? Anyway, the band was good. Not so good that they were snobbish, but good. The theme, Anchored, was cool. And then the speaker.

Okay, at this point you’re probably guessing how this post is going to end. I’m going to say how much I was impacted and changed and how retreats are amazing and yada yada yada. You might be right, but you’re definitely wrong. That would be too typical, and life, unlike Hollywood, is not predicable. But I will tell you I’ve been telling myself to stop being bitter, to depend fully on Christ, be content with the present, and try to give my parents grace so we all can get through the next few months until I get a job and start community college. There’s a little prelude or teaser, or whatever for you.

Anyway, then came the first talk of the weekend. He opened by summing up what I thought of camps to a degree (his version was a bit more optimistic), but it got me listening. He spoke about how we are anchored to different things that are holding us down. Either the past, bitterness, or fear. Bitterness.

Moving on. Then we did the whole “stay up late, hug strangers” part during the gym game time that started at 11:30.

Saturday was fun. Think, 70ft swing fun. Think super fast tubing slide fun. Think laser tag fun. It was a jolly old time, Saturday was. I actually enjoyed myself without forcing myself to 😉 Oh, what am I going to do with myself? Two hour conversations by fires in coffee shops are wonderful things. Hearing the words “I understand” and “that’s hard” and “I’m sorry” are such relieving things.

The talks in the morning that I listened to were: Anchored to the Present and Anchored to Your Story. The present one talked about being content where you’re at and not rushing by because God has a plan for you now. That happened… And the other about how we need to share our stories about God with each other so we can have a clearer picture of who God is. Good stuff, but I had heard it before. I’ve been churched. Some of it did strike me. It was a good reiteration of what I knew. The evening talk was about having Christ as our Anchor. Okay, really starting to be a pattern here in case you missed it. Ugh. Then the powerful music.

I have this hope
As an anchor for my soul
Through every storm
I will hold to You

With endless love
All my fear is swept away
In everything

There is hope in the promise of the cross
You gave everything to save the world You love
And this hope is an anchor for my soul
Our God will stand
Unshakeable

I will not cry. I will not cry. I found myself torn between my own stubborness and that voice inside me calling. I will not cry. I am a stone. This is manipulation. Or is it the Spirit? I wanted to be free. I wanted to melt down on my knees and change, but I couldn’t.  I was trapped by anchors: bitterness, doubt, fear, defiance. I struggled, wrapped up in emotion of uncertainty. Okay, God. I don’t know what to do. Do something. I felt a hand tap my shoulder and a friend say, “Can I pray for you?” I said, yes. As she started to pray, her arms holding me in security and love, I began to cry, shedding tears I had so wanted to hold back. Mascara running, shaking in the knowledge that God will always be my anchor even when when I try to cut him loose.

Your Name is higher
Your Name is greater
All my hope is in You

Your word unfailing
Your promise unshaken
All my hope is in You

To finish up the weeded on Sunday the talk was on parents. Bam. Full circle. Oh, my. Next time you try to win an emotional battle, make sure God isn’t your opponent. He’ll win whether you want Him to or not. He’ll win when you need Him to.

P.S. Can I just say something about yoga pants? They are NOT pants. Girl, I do not need to see every curve. And Ugg boots? Seriously? UGGGG! No wonder you’re slipping every ten feet. Those things have no traction. But obviously I missed the memo because I swear 75% of the girls at the camp wore the combination of those two. #wat #mylife #stillwearingskinnyjeans

Watch videos of the trip:

Blasting Away!

Blasting Away 2!

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Playlist to Victory

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I get very into music. If the song is sad, I get serious or cry. If it’s happy, I prance about and make tea. If it’s powerful, I get all bad attitude. If it’s a swing song on, I want to dance. Well let’s be honest, I want to dance if it’s any song (except for a country one). To sum up, I feel music.

When I’m depressed there are a few songs that are my jam, my girl power, my victory dance music, and my “it’s okay” melodies. I thought I’d share some of them. So if you’re having a rough day, or even just want to feel fabulous, here you go!

1. Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys

2. This Thing Is Not Going To Break You by Christa Wells

3. King of Anything by Sarah Bareilles

4. I’ll Make a Man out of You from Mulan

5. I Feel Pretty the Sarah Vaughan version

6. Dirty by Audio Adrenaline

7.  Happy by Pharrell Williams

8. Express Yourself the Labyrinth version

9. My Favorite Things from the Sound of Music

10. Moon by Sleeping at Last

Teaching Swing

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I started swing dancing when I was eight years old. I remember the first time I went to the swing club here in town. I wore my fanciest outfit, curled my hair and put on my magnet butterfly earrings. I was going to a ball like a princess. Of course I was completely overdressed and the youngest one on the dance floor. I entered the rotation and oddly enough wasn’t shy. I wasn’t really a shy kid, but I was afraid of new things. My fear never held me back, but I would obsess a bit too much about trying something new. I didn’t like unfamiliar places or meeting “non-homeschoolers”. I didn’t know how to act around “other people”. But dancing was different. It allowed me to connect with people in a chill, interactive, focused way. That first time I went, I got asked to dance by a stranger and I couldn’t have been more happy.

As I grew up, I continued to go dancing. As I think back on it, I think dancing was essential to my social maturity especially where guys are concerned. Dancing with guys made it possible for me to get familiar with guys. Learning to dance is more than just learning to dance. When you dance, you learn how to make small talk and interact physically in a totally unawkward way with the opposite gender. Dancing teaches you self-confidence, respect, and team work. Because of its social vibe, I would recommend swing dancing to anyone.

Seven years later, I taught my first swing dancing class. This year last semester I started a beginners swing class at the co-op I go to. More learning for me. I had to learn how to teach. I had to make a syllabus, plan lessons, get songs, work out the social issues between students, figure out how to teach high-schoolers rhythm and frame. And in that process, I became a better dancer myself. I originally was just going to teach for the fall semester, but all the students wanted another semester. Lindy it is, folks! I can’t wait. Over part of last semester and Christmas break, I learned over fifteen new moves.

I also taught my first private swing lesson to two middle-aged couples. Teaching dancing to teenagers is a lot different than teaching married older couples. A lot different. It’s hard having authority with your elders. It’s an interesting balance of respect and command.

Teaching swing and dancing  are some of my favorite parts of the week and it has taught me so many things. I wouldn’t give it up.

So go learn some moves. Go have a ball.