Tag Archives: Thoughts

What I learned about leadership from the worst job I ever had

This past year has brought a variety of struggles. My job was a particularly negative aspect of my life. When I first started this job, I was told that I would need to have a “tough skin”, so i was prepared for harsh comments, but I was not prepared for what the job was actually like. The lack of clarity and standards always left me guessing (and my guesses were always wrong). I felt like I had to prove I was trustworthy at every instance instead of being respected and valued.

Before working this job, I had never really felt anxiety before. But every morning I was genuinely anxious and some days even afraid to go to work. I am typically someone who cares deeply about all aspects of my life — specifically my work. But it was too painful to care about this job. There were no rewards to caring. Your ideas were not heard, you questions unanswered. The office was so quiet I felt like I was suffocating. You really could hear a pin drop. When the main boss was out of the office, people finally felt like they could breath. But the environment didn’t get better. People only talked about how frustrated they were or how they had been wronged at the job. There were no secrets — yet there was no communication. I felt myself shutting down. Nervousness turned to silence, turned to bitterness, turned to me being annoyed most of the time. I was so irritable. I think I glared through most days. I was completely unheard and defiantly defensive.

Even though it was by far the worst job I have ever had, I did learn several things about leadership and management.

1. It starts at the top: There is something to grassroots action, but when it comes to a work environment, you as the leader set the standard. Be someone worthy of respect — i.e. be respectful towards others. Value their time, input, and talents. Make sure you are a leader — not a boss — by equipping your employees to succeed in their roles.

2. Set Expectations: As a supervisor, you should clearly define the expectations for your employees. If you want reports turned in by a certain time, make that deadline clear. Create a framework so your employee knows how to practically do their job. When something fails, look back on that framework to determine what went wrong. Expectations also go both ways. Decide with your employee what they expect of you and follow through on those items.

3. Give employees freedom over their work: When you hire someone, you should trust them to handle their job. Their judgement calls and decisions should be backed up and considered first. Refrain from nitpicking. Ask yourself, “Is this a change that needs to be made or is it a person preference of mine?” or “does this detail matter in the long run?”

4. A leader is there for their employees: Instead of looking at employees as peons to complete your mission, view yourself as a coordinator to help your employees succeed. What do they need to get the job done? Is it direction, resources, or training? Provide those things. If someone is drowning – save them. Do not get irritated that they can’t swim.

5. Back off: Do not breath down employee’s backs. If you feel like you have to micro manage, ask yourself why. Is a job not getting done? Are you too particular? If someone does need more attention, create further expectations. For example if people are not working enough hours, instead of watching security cameras and tracking their hours, have your employee create a schedule in advance and turn that into you. communicate what will happen if they fail to follow the schedule. This still gives the employee freedom, but sets expectations that both people understand.

6. Allow your employees to make mistakes: Obviously there are clear expectations that should be met, but you should allow employees to have creative freedom to make mistakes. When a mistake is made, communicate to your staff that you appreciate their efforts and are thankful that they trusted you to inform you of the mistake. Ask your employee what they would suggest to amend the error or ask them what they would do differently. As a leader, you should guide this conversation to be a productive learning experience for your employee.

There are just a few of the many things I learned this past year. Chin up. No matter how bad things are, they can get better. Take the good and learn from the bad.

2. Standards and Surrender

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This post belongs to a series on the inner mess of my mind. If this seems at all interesting, begin by reading “1. Uncovering the Mess”. Welcome.

I was raised going to church, Sunday school, Awana, youth group, the whole shebang. My Sundays mornings were full of sermons and songs and my Wednesdays nights full of icebreakers and videos trying to get the youth hyped. I was told in these settings, at home, and by my Christian friends of the hope of the Gospel. I was told of the joy of the Lord. I was told that the “rules” in the Bible were not to keep people from having fun but rather there to protect people. I was told that following these “rules” would provide the best life — the fullest, the most contented life. Breaking these “rules” would result in sadness and despair.

This made sense to me. Think of any game. Take basketball for example. If the players did whatever they want with no clear goal, rules, and guidelines, would the game be fun? Would it even work? One person would be dribbling the ball and another would be throwing it. Chaos would ensue. The need for rules in life can even be seen by kids. Put a group of kids together and no matter what they decide to play weather it’s a game or make-believe, they will come up with standards of what is and is not okay in order to structure their play. Because of this logic, I never questioned the need for rules or moral guidelines. And because the Bible was what I was taught growing up, I believed it contained the true guidelines.

But as one grows and life gets less black and white and more grey, a realization that guidelines are not one size fits all begins to sink in. Yes, basketball needs one set of rules in order for the players to succeed. But not everyone is a basketball player. Some prefer football. Or tennis. Or cheerleading for that matter. Take one of those players and make them follow a different set of rules and they would not succeed.

When I began thinking of these things, I had many questions about the purpose of the Bible and Christianity. The answer I found over and over again was that Bible was not a rule book to guide to one the best life but rather a personal invitation to know God. Following the guidelines in the bible were not about bringing you fulfillment, but rather to draw one closer to God. Doing the right thing was not about making oneself good, but was rather about making oneself holier. And being holier was about honoring God in humbleness. The personal invitation view of the Bible appealed to me. If the bible really was just a rule book, then it would probably just be a list of… well… rules. But it isn’t. It’s a collection of stories. Personal stories about people experiencing God. Even the books of the Bible that are more instructional are written by people with a very human touch. Also, if the Bible was a rule book, life would just be one big test of how accurately you know and followed the rules and judgement day would basically be the day when the SAT scores of life were posted. However, that type of judgement day is not what the Bible talks about. The bible is very realistic in the sense that it knows that people are incapable of absolute perfection. It knows people will not be able to live up to a perfect standard of holiness. God is perfectly holy. And because humans are not, we have driven a wedge between us and God. If God is light, he can pierce the darkest night. But we are walking around with blindfolds on. No matter how bright the light is or how much we want to see the light, we cannot because our eyes are covered. Jesus is the one that takes takes our hand and guides us towards the light and ultimately takes off our blindfold. As long as we hold onto Jesus, we will be heading toward the light. The goal is to know the light. And knowing the light that brightness the dark world will (should) bring about praise.

Surrendering to God is more about God becoming greater than me becoming good. As this realization manifested, a couple of new thoughts entered my mind. #1) I could follow God with everything, He could take everything and leave me with nothing just to give himself glory. #2) It is kind of selfish of God to make everything about him. and #3) Is god really worth it?

I realize how horrible these thoughts are. In order to understand why I even dared to think these things, I must explain…. well that will take a couple more posts.

Waiting for the “not yet”

Dear Professor Who Was a Bad Student

When you realize it’s not what you thought

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I’ve wanted to go to college every since I remember. I remember my parents recalling memories from their college experience. I remember my mom saying, “college was the best time of my life.” I remember people saying it’s the only time you’re in walking distance from all your friends. I remember hearing that there are endless things to do, see, and learn. I remember a teacher telling me, “get to college and stay there for as long as you can.” I remember eagerly awaiting this once-in-a-lifetime experience where I’d be surrounded by a community. I remember expecting to be surrounded by people with ideas and passions.

Despite all my eagerness, or perhaps because of it, I was not prepared for what awaited me.

College is the most negative environment I have ever been in. I’d say 75% of what I hear people say is some kind of complaint. Another 20% is about a party or club. I haven’t met a single passionate person here. Perhaps because of the “get to college and stay there” attitude teenagers going to college are given all the freedom of adulthood yet don’t assume the responsibility of adulthood. Or maybe this generation of adults can’t get past the party stage in life.

I thought college would be a time of shared ideas. But it’s a time of memorizing various bits of information. I haven’t even found anyone interested in talking about what was learned in class. I thought college would be organized and people would help you succeed. But instead they just tell you all the things you should do: get a job in your field, volunteer, join at least two clubs, take on a leadership position in an organization, attend weekend seminars and guest lecturers, do all your homework on time, read chapters before coming to class. Oh yeah, and having a social life is imperative to success. I’m not sure when they think anyone has free time to fit in social activities, but I guess it must somewhere.

I’ve heard of lots of kids who go away to college and then quit for various reasons. I’m definitely not a quitter, so that has never crossed my mind. I’ve just come to a cold realization that college is not going to be the best time of my life. At this point in time, college sucks 100%. The classes are actually the best part. That and having a gym so close. The end of last semester when relatives and friends would ask how college was going my generic response was, “It’s a thing. I’m doing it.” What else could I say?

I guess what scares me is that I’ve always wanted the next stage in my life. I’ve always been unsatisfied with where I was at in life. What if I’m never happy where I’m at? What if nothing will satisfy ever?

Being a Christian, this is where I would recognize that of course nothing on earth will satisfy. This is where I turn to God. Yet no comfort is there. I read my Bible, write in my journal, read spiritual books, pray, and still I find no peace, peace I believe and know to be real. Yet it eludes me.

I don’t know why God led me here. I don’t know why this has to be so incredibly hard. But I will trust this is where He wants me. I will trust this is in His plan.

I will trust this pain somehow will be used for good. I will praise Him despite my loneliness and longing.

I will turn to him even if I do not feel Him there.

I will sing to Him even when surrender is crushing.

I will pray to Him even when He does not answer.

And I will believe that He is holding His tired, scared, broken daughter through every trial he puts me through.

College is not what I thought. But God is bigger and better than anything I could dream or imagine.