I was born a rebel.
That’s what I lean towards. As I have stated in “The Plight of the Youngest” post, I feel a need to express myself as an individual. I want to prove myself. I stretch the limits of everything. I question everything. I crave to coherently state my ideas and my creativity. I wanted to be ‘me’, and I wanted ‘me’ to be unique. I always thought that if I could stay true to myself I could accomplish anything. I believe in dreaming big, following one’s heart — never giving up, never giving in.
In a sense, this is good. As Christians, we are supposed to live nonconforming with the world. I use the “living in the world, but not of it” verse as a biblical reason for my rebel attitude. But my manner in this area has been anything but biblical.
This past year, I came in contact with an idea that is so absurd that it is completely shunned in today’s society and culture. What is this incomprehensible idea? It is, in fact, the idea of dying to one’s self. Think about that for a second: dying to one’s self, surrendering. Our country is founded on ideas completely opposite to that. As Rick Warren put it in his book A Purpose Given Life, “Surrender evokes the unpleasant images of admitting defeat in battle, forfeiting a game, or yielding to a stronger opponent. The word is almost always used in a negative context…In today’s competitive culture we are taught to never give up and never give in — so we don’t hear much about surrendering. If winning is everything, surrendering is unthinkable” (97).
I always thought that if I surrendered to anything — whether it be God or another person — I would lose myself in the process. And I so wanted to find myself, not lose me! But what I’ve come to realize — no, what I’m coming to realize — is that it is only when we fully give ourselves over to God that we find ourselves. C. S. Lewis said, “The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become…”
I don’t need to go and search high and low for myself and my individuality; I need to let God take me over. I mean, let’s face it: God is completely unique; there is no one like Him. If I die to myself daily and let God rule in me, won’t I be unique too? Yes. Furthermore, I’ll be the person God intended me to be and what is better than God’s plan? E. Stanley Jones said, “If we don’t surrender to God, then we surrender to chaos.”
Surrendering. Dying to one’s self. Submitting. Yielding. Giving in.
Because God is the only thing worth giving in to.
Good thoughts. Very convicting.
These are profound and insightful thoughts. It seems we (I) often spend so much time comparing ourselves to someone else and feeling we don’t measure up. But surrendering and leaving our uniqueness to God is liberating!! As I was growing up especially in jr. high and high school, I thought, ‘OK” I’m not the prettiest girl in the class, but I am friendly, know a thing or two, and excel at music. Looking for other people who appreciate my values, activities and way of thinking helped me sort out the kind of people I wanted to be with. And among them I found some folks that I thought modeled the right way to be living.
I love reading your writings. Keep it up. By the way, have you posted other photos from vacations you took with us, like Door County and Michigan?
Very true! Surrounding ourselves with the right people is vital to character development.
I don’t think I possess any photo’s from those vacations on any computer. Do you have any digital copies?
Yes, we do and we will send you some. I will have to have Grandpa do it since I don’t know how.